Funny translations
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18
Can you hear me. - Ты можешь меня здесь.
I've just saw your balance sheet. - Видел я ваш баланс... так себе
баланс.
Let it be. - давайте есть пчел.
Manicure. - Деньги лечат.
I have been there. - У меня там фасоль.
God only knows. - Единственный нос бога.
We are the champions. - Мы шампиньоны.
Do You feel alright? - Ты справа всех знаешь?
Bye bye baby, baby good bye. - Купи купи ребенка, ребенок хорошая
покупка.
Just in case. - Только в портфеле.
I will never give up. - Меня никогда не тошнит.
Oh dear! – Ах, олень!
I saw my Honey today. - Я пилил мой мёд сегодня.
I'm going to make you mine. - Я иду копать тебе шахту.
May God be with you. - Майская хорошая пчелка с тобой.
Finnish people. - Конченные люди.
Good products. - Бог на стороне уток.
Watch out! - Посмотри снаружи!
Press space bar to continue. - Космический бар прессы продолжает.
Lukus
And from my own experience (my group bodies'):

Praise the Lord! – Похвалился лорд.
Just try and come! – Попробуй подойди!
Artificial look. – Искусственный глаз.
He relieved his feelings by shouting back at Johny. – Он облегчился на Джонни.
This is a convenient tool for drawing nails out. – Это подходящий инструмент для выдергивания ногтей.
To capture the sitter’s vitality. – Уловить натурщика за живое.
Lukus
And what can YOU bring as examples of 'funny' translations?
Lukus
Napalm Death - Смерть на пальме

Britney Spears "I wanna, I really wanna..." - Я ванна, я твоя реальная ванна
Зося
Они разводили цыплят. - They divorced chicken.
Lukus
George Bush - Гога Кустов
Britney Spears - Броня Копьёва
zanuda
What's happend with you buddy? Completely forgot English?
Spread your legs and relax.
Шешель
I don't understand you! I wrote in Russian because it's a translation of the previous phrase!
Шешель
Now that's a true story below:

An American happened to stay with a family in a Russian village once. He stayed overnight and the next morning the hostess decided to furnish a nice breakfast to such an honored guest.
His interpreter (who was just a local guy) was hanging around, trying to be useful.
After the lady served a meal and the American started eating, she was, of course very curious whether he liked the food or not. The following dialogue occurred:

Hostess: Nu kak? Nichego?

Interpreter: So how is it? Nothing?

American (surprised): Why? Better than nothing!

Interpreter: Nu luchshe chem nichego...

:улыб:I vse zasmejalis!
Lukus
Two Ukraine ambassadors talking:

- Хау мач воч?
- Сыкс воч.
- Сач мач?
- Фор хум хау.
- Ху а Ю?
- Ху а Я? Амбасадор Петров.
- Финишд Киев Ин.Яз?
- Аск!
мнение
заводской брак - factory marriage
окружающая среда -surrounding wednesday
They finished with soup.- Они кончили супом.

A lot of mistrans here.
zanuda
I don't understand you! I wrote in Russian because it's a translation of the previous phrase!
Forget it - doesn't matter! You are too experienced for that crap. Stay cool.
Шешель
Бородатый прикол...

-How do you do?
-It's alright.

-Как вы это делаете?
-Да всё правой.
- Name?
- Abu Ibn Sim Abi Ibn Hana.
- Birthday?
-15-th of August.
-Year?
- 2004.
- Of birthday?
- 1963.
- Sex?
- Four... five times a week.
- No, no! Male or Female.
- Male... Female... sometimes Camel……..
Lukus
The Doctor asked:
" Are you coughing?"
The patient answered:
"Yes, I have coffee every day"
Lukus
Not funny translation, but still funny:улыб:

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talking abouta sexa? Imma justa tellun my frienda how to spella "Mississippi"!
Поручик Голицын
The man asked a doctor: "Doctor, how much time do i have left to live?"
Doctor: "Ten"
Man: " Ten what? Minutes, hours, days?"
Doctor: " Ten, nine, eight..." :ухмылка: